I’m an Upholder

Any Gretchen Rubin fans in the audience? For those unfamiliar with her work, Rubin created the Four Tendencies framework as a way to describe how people react to inner and outer expectations. Briefly summed up, Upholders meet both inner and outer expectations, Questioners meet inner expectations but give less regard to outer expectations, Obligers meet outer expectations but struggle to meet inner expectations, and Rebels don’t readily meet inner or outer expectations. Click here to learn more about the Four Tendencies and take Rubin’s quiz.

I’ve gone around in circles the last couple years trying to figure out my tendency. It didn’t help that I was classified differently when I took the quiz more than once. I read the book and because I was still bothered by not figuring it out, I even took Rubin’s Four Tendencies course (nerd alert!). I started suspecting I was an Upholder, but still didn’t feel confident in my answer and it was driving me nuts.

After this pandemic, it’s become clear to me that I’m an Upholder. While there’s some relief in finally settling on an answer (my hubby will be ecstatic to never hear me talk about this again), just knowing isn’t particularly helpful. The whole point of the Four Tendencies framework is to know yourself better in order to help you accomplish your goals, big or small.

Now I’m thinking about how having external deadlines and external accountability might help finish things in a timely manner. I’m thinking about how setting resolutions works well for me. (I have a pretty good track record with New Year’s resolutions.) And, I’m thinking about how to use this knowledge to my advantage at home and work.

Do you know your tendency? If so, has it helped you move forward in your pursuits?